Dreams are weird mysterious things. Sometimes they are the most wonderful feelings, tittilating you when you think about them. At other times, they give you the creeps and you wish it could just go away. And then also sometimes you know that you have just had a great dream, but you cannot remember it, and the more you think of it, the harder it becomes to catch on.
There have been lots of research on why we dream. No study has been conclusive enough though. The scientist are still not sure about our need to dream. One of the theories that I know about dreaming is that you tend to live out your fantasies in dream. If you have been obsessing about something, there is a high probability that you might have a dream about it. And this aspect scares the hell out of me.
A few of my dreams are really violent. They involve pain, rage, agony, revenge and not to mention, death. Where am I in the picture? Right in the middle of things – I am usually the one inflicting the pain ! Just the last night I had this dream, one of the worst I have had in a few weeks now, and I just cannot get it out of my head.
The dream started off with a few friends going to a cliff for a holiday. There were four of us – A, B, C and I. Now A and B went to get something to eat, some distance away. I was sitting there all one with C. For some reason (not revealed in the dream), C had earlier wronged me. The rage was burning hot within me, and I was dying to get revenge. I had then subdued my feelings and C thought things were fine between us. So I suggested C to try bungee jumping. C was reluctant at first, but I egged him on and he decided to go for it.
We prepaed the cables and C was ready for the jump. Since C was nervous about doing it, I suggested he fix a ear piece so that we can talk. Then this is what happened – C jumps, I hear him screaming as the cool breaze raced across his face, the experience thrilling him, and then he was silent. He thanked me over the earpiece, and it was then that I did the worst thing – I cut the cables holding him. I could him scream once again – he had realised what what happened and knew his fate. I sent him to his death bed.
If you think that the dream ends here and that I would have woken up with sweaty forehead, you couldn’t be possibly more wrong. I went after A and B, and set their car ablaze, killing both of them as well. In one dream, I had killed three of my friends ! And after all this, I woke up feeling all happy.
This is not the first time that I have had such a dream. I have had dreams about blasting buildings, causing more destruction and what not. Another disturbing fact about my life is that I admire people like Anakin Skywalker (Darth Vader), Tom Marvolo Riddle (Lord Voldemorte), Michael Corleone and Professor Moriarity. All of them are anti-social elements who have been shunted by the society. And I aspire to be like one of them. Heck I would very much like to be like Anakin Skywalker or Tom Marvolo Riddle.
I do not what I need to change about myself. I am confused. And this confusion scares me. I wish there were simpler solutions in life.
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