I have never really understood the human nature – the desire to feel wanted, connected with people all around, the need to socialise and above all to feel loved.
I sometimes feel that I am witnessing a phenomenon from some third persons’ view. I look at people making friends, and then trying everything to maintain the friendship. A lot of it actually being role playing. After giving the subject a lot of thought, I have come to the conclusion that role playing is an important part of building relationship, simply because we don’t have much to talk about and so need an artificial topic to keep the conversation going, to prevent that awkward silence from creeping up.
Role playing can be observed among all age groups. We start as kids, playing part of our heroes, acting like superman or whoever we idolise. The next phase involves our friends too, each taking up their part – a few heroes and a few villains to keep the story going. And finally as we grow up, we imagine scenarios and debate what we would have done. All the time, the emphasis is on leaving behind the world of reality and venturing into an unknown world, perhaps to get to know your friend better.
And yet, I am unable to connect to this form of communication. I feel detached from the social obligations, they over burden my existance. I wonder if life could be simpler, if talking to friends only when there is something to talk about without straining the friendship could really work out.
I have been watching a lot of Dexter these days. I love the show, primarily because it centers around a psychotic who has to fake his emotions and keep up his appearance as a socially-responsible person.
I must now get back to my exam preparations – have Applied Graph Theory tomorrow, and haven’t yet started.
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