On the 9th of April, the FICO Bangalore office had its first All Hands Meet under the new VP Anindo Roy. Us freshers performed a skit, expressing our first year experiences. Below is the script along with the people who played the characters.
Scene 1: News Studio
News Reporter :: Lucky Wankhede
News Reporter: Kitne mite kitne lute is IT ke chakkar mein, kitnon ke ghar phute, kitne jali is IT ke chakkar mein. Par kya yahi sach hai? Is se parda uthane ke liye hamari team pahunchi “Champu Ki Kahani” aap tak laane.
Par suru karne se pehle, mai aap sabko ye bata dun ki “is kahani ki saari ghatnaye aur patra kisi na kisi fresher ke sach se judi hai, par TRP ke chakkar mein hame bhi kuch masala to add karna hi pada. Ab kya teekha masala hai aur kya kadwa sach, ye hum viewers ke interpretation par chor dete hain.”
To aayiye, camera man Praful ke saath, mai Deepak Chaurasiya, le chalte hian aapko sunane Champu Ki Kahani Usi Ki Jubani.
Par sawal ye uthata hai ki “Aakhir Champu Hai Kaun”?
Scene 2: Classroom in Campus
Prof :: Atul Kumar
Champu :: Vipin Gupta
Chimpoo :: Sumeet Kataria
Singer :: Padmini Pasumarthi
[Everybody has to give his project presentation today. Champu is sleeping in the class, lost in his dreams.]
[Background Score: Mere Sapnon Ki Ranmi Kab Aayegi Tu ... ]
Prof: Champu, Champu
Chimpoo: Abe Champu, uthaja. Tera presentation hai.
Champu: Abe, sone de naa yaar. Ash ke sapne dekh raha hun.
Prof: You stupid Champu. You duffer is sleeping in the class. You cannot do anything good with your life. Go give your presentation now. What’s the topic?
Champu: [Confused] Sir, wo, sir, …
Prof: C’mon, c’mon. Do not waste my time.
Champu: [Starts] Sir, I have an idea that if we can provide some useful software to the business people to manage their rules …
Prof: Yahan idea dene aye ho ya hum logon ka time pass karne? Useless fellow. Just go away, you are useless, and nothing better can you do in life. Just get out of the class, and I am only giving you a “F”.
News Reporter: To dekha aapne ki hamara Champu, knowledge to poora hai, par pata hi nahi ki use kaise kare. Ye Champu apne knowledge ke dam par FICO mein select to ho gaya, par bhi apni asaliyat se duur nahi jaa saka. Kya FICO ise change kar paayegi? Dekhte hain aageki kahani.
Scene 3: Champu Reaches Out To His Buddy At FICO
Buddy :: Anuvrat Singh
Manager :: Greeshma Olety
Employee :: Ankit Jain
[The scene consists of two parallel plays. Champu has a conversation with his buddy. The parallel scene shows what was happening in the office then.]
Buddy: Hey, I am your buddy. What’s up?
Champu: Sir, ever since I got selected for FICO, I have immersed myself into java books. I am also learning jsp, servlet, hibernation …
Buddy: Hey, hey, there now … slow down buddy. Chillax. Enjoy your time, we’ll teach you the rest when you get over here. And don’t call me Sir/ Just call me BOSS.
By the way, do you have any doubts about the “scary” stuffs that we do over here?
Champu: Well, to begin with, we have flexible timings, don’t we?
Buddy: Of course, I come for lunch and leave before snacks. If you get your work done in time, no one cares about your number of hours.
[Parallel Scene Starts]
[Employee enter's the office at 1230]
Manager: What’s the time Ankit?
Employee: Sorry mam, wo late ho gaya. We had a party till late night, and I was unable to get up early.
Manager: I do not want any lame excuses. You people are too young to come later than 10 in the morning. I want you at your desk by 9 everyday. And converse only in English.
Employee: Ji Behenji .. Err Yes Ma’am.
Manager: Abe Hindi nahi … English !!
[Parallel Scene Ends]
Champu: And what is the dress code for our office?
Buddy: (Hehe …) Strictly formal. A tie would be very appropriate. Blazers are ok in winter only though.
[Parallel Scene Starts]
Employee: Hey! Where did you buy this jeans?
Manager: Oh, from Spykers. Isn’t it great?
Employee: It’s awesome. I love my company just because we have the freedom to wear anything we want to.
[Parallel Scene Ends]
Champu: Ok Sir. Thanks so much for your help Boss.
[Buddy disconnects the connection.]
Buddy: Kaisa chaman aadmi hai. I wonder how he cleared the HR interview. [Look towards Pooja Mehra, who is our HR]. I bet he must be handsome.
Scene 4 : First Day At Office : The Training Room
Manoj :: Atul Kumar
Debashish :: Anuvrat Singh
Chimpoo :: Sumeet Kataria
[It's the first day at FICO for Champu. He walks into the training room with all the chairs occupied. He searches for his name tag and finds it right in the front row. ]
Champu: Curse my starts! First Row!
[The instructor Manoj walks in.]
Manoj: I am Manoj and I’ll be taking a session on XML today.
[Monotonous, low volume, blah blah blah from Manoj].
Manoj: You can all take 5 minutes break now.
[Manoj leaves the room.]
Champu: Damn! I cannot sit here another minute. Chimpoo, I am sitting beside you in the last row.
[Champu drags his chair to the last row.]
Champu: Now this feels like home baby!
Chimpoo: Saala kya nautanki kar raha hai ye instructor. Oye Champu, let’s play NFS, network pe.
Champu: Sure, let me download it from torrent.
[After trying a few times, Champu calls up DD from the TSI.]
Champu: Hi, I am trying to download stuffs from torrent and it doesn’t seem to be working.
Debashish: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? i AM DEBASHISH AND I AM NOT THE GUY WHO MENDS YOUR COMPUTER! I AM A BUSY MAN, UNIT TESTING THIS CRAPPY PIECE OF CODE WRITTEN BY ANUVRAT. IF YOU DARE CALL ME AGAIN, I WILL HAVE YOU THROWN OUT OF THE OFFICE.
[Champu puts down the phone. Oops, wrong number.]
Chimpoo: Koi naa, Rapidshare jindabaad.
News Reporter: Poori office ko pareshaan karne ke baad, pahunche apne Champu Graduation party mein.
Scene 5 : FICO Graduation Party
Senior Director :: Anuvrat Singh
Singer :: Padmini Pasumarthi
[Background score : Kajra re, kajra re ...]
[Senior Director walks in.]
Senior Director: Hello friends. I would like to welcome all of you to our family …
[Chimpoo pukes.]
Senior Director: [Disgusted] Get this man out of here.
Champu: Abe kamine Itani kyun pee lii yaar.
Chimpoo: Are mat puch yar, Paro ka gam, Job ki khushi, aur free ki daaru … aur kya chahiye zindagi mein.
Champu: Abe kal savere ki soch, jab loose motions honge.
Chimpoo: You know what I have a Newton’s 4th law, Tujhe pata hai? Loose motions cannot be done in slow motion!
Scene 6 : Meeting Room
Manager :: Greeshma Olety
Singer :: Sumeet Kataria
News Reporter: To iss tarah Champu ne apani fresher party aur loose motions ko kiya enjoy, par bat yahi khatam nahi hoti, kyuki picture abhi baki hai mere dost, picture abhi bakki hai …
[A meeting is going on with Champu, his colleagues and his manager]
Manager: So everybody what the status of everyone.
Chimpoo: Ma’am I have written and working on the module assigned to me.
Champu: Ma’am wo ma’am wo….
Manager: Yes Champu whats your status.
Champu: Ma’am wo its not yet completed ma’am,
Manager: What the hell, why you haven’t completed your task, team is dependent on your task.
Champu: Sorry ma’am.
Manager: Sorry doesn’t make money Champu, work does. I want to talk personally to you. Meeting over guys, Champu stay back.
Manager: [Funda Session] Champu this is not the way you behave and work in office, its no more college, you should be more professional, you should take ownership of your work, Success is not getting a big job but it’s about performing best, always and recurring. You are young and dynamic person company have lot of expectations from you. So think about it, if you need help let me know.
[Manger left the meeting]
[Champu’s transformation to Chiarg]
Champu: What the hell am I doing, I’ve got talent ,I’ve got potential, I’ve knowledge. And FICO is providing me good opportunity . I need to comcentrate. I need to be more professional , I need to change, yes I will change..
[Background Score: Hota hai jab aadmi ko, apna gyan, kehlaya wo, "Chironji laal"]
News Reporter: Champu transform to a confident Chirag. He has now been assigned the task of meeting the clients and unveiling the latest product FICO Blaze Advisor v69.
Scene 6: Meri Shaadi Karwao
Amma :: Padmini Pasumarthi
[Champu, who now is Chirag, calls his family to tell about his success]
Chirag: Hi Mumma, I got spot award today, my manager is very much impressed with me, And I am doing great in life.
Amma: This is very great news beta ki you making us proud. We have a good news also for you.
Chirag: What is the good news amma.
Amma: Beta tumhari, Jaipur wali mausi ke devar ki delhi wali sali ki bahan wo Australia se kuch kuch khelkar India waapas ayi hai, wo Bangalore me hi ruki hai.Usake rishta tereliye aya hai. To mai no de deti hu, mu dikhayi ki rasam puri kar le.
Chirag: Name kya bataya amma.
Amama: Saniya
News Reporter: To dekha apane ki kaise ek bevkuf, bindas, aur lethargic college student “Champu” independent, confident, responsible Chirag bana FICO ne.Kaise bana wo ek looser se ek successful person.
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